Enjoy relaxing by the pool, strolling through picturesque towns and chatting for hours about anything and everything. On vacation, we seem more connected than ever to our partner. But once back home, love can quickly cool again. Relationship therapy isn’t necessarily the answer, says relationship therapist Jean-Pierre Van de Ven.
In this section, our experts answer a reader question each week about relationships, health, nutrition and other topics. This time: We had a good time on vacation, but when we returned home, the arguments started again. How did this happen?
Jean-Pierre Van de Ven: “If all goes well, you can relax on vacation. You have no job, no alarm clock, and no traffic. Moreover, you are both fully determined to make your expensive vacation enjoyable. The combination of a good mood and lack of stress allows you to enjoy more of each other. Small annoyances don’t escalate into big arguments, which makes you relax more.
But then you get home and there’s a traffic jam and your boss is waiting again. Within a week, the barrier to relaxation you had built up in Turkey had completely disappeared. You’re nervous again. Every little inconvenience becomes a gaping wound. The arguments pile up. Then you decide to go to relationship therapy. The therapist says that you need to communicate differently or that you need to work on your sexuality. Which led to more tension and more arguments.
For couples who argue at home and on vacation, the prognosis is poor. It is very difficult for them to reach each other. Couples who argue at home but not on vacation can repair their relationship more quickly. Especially by relaxing more. For example, by looking for a less stressful job, or by moving to a quiet place. If this is not possible, then by walking, cycling, or even deep-sea diving. Get moving, this is the best way to relax. “It is better to spend your money in Türkiye than to treat relationships.”
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