One has a catchy opening line that one uses over and over again with varying success. The other compliments and occasionally throws a sexy wink. But what actually are the best flirting techniques? Science says one technique is more effective than the other.
The Norwegian researchers focused on heterosexual students from Norway and the United States. At least forty different flirting styles were presented and they indicated their preferences when looking for a partner for a short-term or long-term relationship. There seem to be few differences between the desires of men and women.
Physical and verbal movements
One case is different from the other, explains researcher Leif Edward Ottesen: “It depends on the gender and the purpose of the flirtation. Is it a long-term or short-term relationship?” Women looking for a date or one night stand find success through physical cues. “Friendly contact like a hug or a kiss on the cheek is not enough in this case. Are you a woman looking for a short-term adventure? Then choose to stand close to someone, make physical contact and touch.
Conversely, men cannot achieve this through physical and sexual “movements” alone. If you are a man looking for a short-term relationship, you will also have to make a verbal contribution. “Smiling, showing interest in conversations, paying compliments, and making someone laugh increases your chances,” says Ottesen.
Are you looking for a lasting relationship?
It is best for men who are looking for a committed relationship to appear “generous” and show that they are “willing to commit to someone.” There is one flirting style among men that stood out in the research, and that is humor. “People believe that humor, or the ability to make someone laugh, is the most effective method for men looking for a long-term relationship.”
However, a woman looking for a one-night stand does not benefit much from a good joke to achieve her goal. It is true that laughing at the other person’s jokes is a very effective strategy for both men and women to win over an opponent. So being funny is not enough for guys. “For women, it’s also important to show your potential partner that you find them funny,” explains co-researcher Rebecca Burch.
Don’t know where to start? Ottesen recommends starting with two other effective ways to flirt: smiling and making eye contact.
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